USC GAMES’ TOP 10 JOES
-Written by Emily Maahs
Since it’s “National Joe Day,” (we’re not kidding: it IS a real holiday), our own Emily Maahs in USC Games wanted to share her “Top 10- Joes”. We in USC Games Editorial agree with her list!
10. Sloppy Joes - Hope I don’t get too much hate for this one. Sloppy Joes are wanna-be hamburgers or disappointing tacos, without the redeeming qualities of other toppings and flavors. It really is just loose meat with an unappealing sauce stuck in a bun that continuously fails to hold it in. On top of this, the name and the mess that is made make Sloppy Joes anything but a personal fave (YMMV).
9. G.I. Joe - G.I. Joe is a classic as a cartoon, but the live-action versions are missing...something, a spark of sorts. Not even the Rock could save it, and Dwayne Johnson is one unbeatable man. But if you put the Rock IN the animated version: WATCH OUT!
8. Joe DiMaggio - Joe Dimaggio is often considered one of the greatest baseball players of all time, winning three MVP Awards and being named an All-Star player in all 13 of his seasons playing in Major League Baseball. As a shining player for the New York Yankees, Dimaggio held a 56-game hitting record, ranked 5th in careers home runs, and sixth in slugging percentages during his time. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1995. Joe is a superstar! Unfortunately, I am a Dodgers’ Fan. Sorry, Joe.
7. JoJo Siwa - JoJo Siwa was part of my childhood as I loved to binge-watch the reality show “Dance Moms”, which was her very first debut in being recognized for her various talents. With her passion for performance, JoJo Siwa has turned herself into one of the most recognizable internet personalities through her Youtube channel, TikTok, and other social media platforms. At the young age of 17, JoJo has created and upheld her successful and ever-growing brand.
6. Joe Jonas - The best brother of the Jonas Brothers. Joe has and always will be my favorite. Joe Jonas is talented, passionate, extremely goofy, and best yet, emotionally vulnerable as he admitted to crying when the JoBro’s most recent album debuted. With bops like “Cake by the Ocean” and of course, being the Husband to the Game of Thrones Legend, Sophie Turner, there was no way Joe Jonas wouldn’t make the cut in our celebration of Joes.
5. Average Joe - nuff’ said.
4. Cup of Joe - Ah, yes. Allow me to glorify caffeine. Cup of Joes are a great ally as we reach the middle checkpoint of our second semester, offering temporary super-student abilities. These power-ups include motivation, efficiency, and an attention span that lasts longer than 30 seconds. Without Cup of Joes, the midterm pressure would be unbearable. The mug is always on your side. Quite literally, as the mug beside me is inspiring me to write today. Hello, mug. I love you.
3. Trader Joes - Trader Joe’s was the savior of my freshman year and the one-stop-shop to pure happiness. My two favorite things in life are 1) interactive/themed entertainment (find the monkey) and 2) food. There are clear indications as to why Trader Joe’s is one of the best places in the world. From tubs of mini chocolate chip cookies to their veggie crisps, the snacks here reign supreme. We can’t forget about the free samples that were sometimes a substitute for dinner, and the workers here never question coming back for seconds.
2. Joe Mama - “Joe Mama” is a joke that will never not be funny to me. It is the best joke in human history and can be used in almost any scenario. It is a timeless and quite harmless classic, those who despise it are the individuals who have fallen victim to it.
1. Joe Jacko - coming in at number one, we have no other than Joe Jacko of USC Trojan Esports. Coach Joe Jacko is the leader behind our USC League of Legends competitive Varsity team. Jacko’s shine doesn’t only show in his coaching; he is a huge component of the USC Trojan Esports team in our efforts of implementing esports into our USC student culture. I spoke with Jacko to learn more about his role as the Varsity League of Legends coach, as well as his role within the collegiate and professional esports ecosystem.
Check out our Coach Joe Jacko “Joe Day” article here.